How do we respond when we’ve missed the mark? When saying or doing something has impacted another in a way that was not intended. We may have acted out of anger or maybe just offered unwanted advice or misunderstood a situation.
How do we make amends? I believe it starts with willingness. Being prepared to listen wholeheartedly and speak from the heart we cultivate what it truly means to be humane.
By mistake, by intention, we humans have a choice even when we’ve made an error. I was brought up with the concept that if you borrow something from someone, you either return it in the same condition you received it in or you return it in better shape. This same is true if through our words we’ve hurt feelings, dismissed an opinion or just not listened.
A starting place is by turning inward and checking out how would I feel if it had been me on the receiving end.
It’s interesting how “he said she said” can spin us into a vortex of negativity. Sometimes so damaging that once beloved syblings become estranged, partnerships tumultuously end or friendships dissolve. Don’t get me wrong, all things have their course, the great Way.
Everything coming and everything going; always changing, all ways. This understanding is the flavour of life lived to its fullest. Sometimes savoury; sometimes sweet.
When something goes awry in how we relate to another and especially ourselves how can we turn the wheel on this pivot point? It could mean anything, for some, taking a deep breath, perhaps walking away and regrouping thoughts, maybe inviting someone who can be a mediator, for groups maybe engaging in the wonderful process, “The Way of Counsel”. It could be veering away from the critical or defensive and just saying a simple affirmation of possibility. “How can we make this win/win?” “I trust you to do what’s right.” These are only suggestions. It’s not a pat phrase or words that can be preplanned. It revolves around listening and speaking from the heart. Asking self, “What is appropriate for this moment?” And perhaps how can I be the pivot point of positivity? And a pointer to possibility?